Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Krush Bryant Chicago Shirt

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Malik The Freak Gold Helmet Shirt

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Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Phil Steele's Projected 2015 College Football AP Top 10

College Football guru Phil Steele released his projected AP Top 10 today and if you know anything about college football Steele knows pretty much everything about the sport.  So in other words this is going to be 99% accurate.  But since I'm an asshole I felt I needed to chime in with my thoughts.

1. Ohio State - No argument here.  The Buckeyes are the clear cut #1 team in the country with the majority of their team coming back from a National Title.  They got the best coach in the country (Urban>Nick) and their schedule is the biggest cupcake you will ever see.  Top to bottom only Bama rivals them in terms of overall talent in the nation.

2. TCU - The Horned Frogs got a ton of street cred last year by destroying Ole Miss in the Peach Bowl to complete a one loss season in which they probably should have been included in the playoff if it wasn't for their stupid ass conference commissioner.  With Boykin back along with a great head coach and a chip on their shoulder I expect TCU to make the playoffs this season.

3. Alabama - Bama got gang raped by the Big Ten last year in the playoffs.  Let that sink in for a bit.  The once mighty SEC and their Goliath of a team in Bama got destroyed by Ohio State.  The Big Ten was arguable the worst conference last season yet they owned the SEC in the bowl games.  It doesn't matter now since you know Nick Saban will have the Crimson Tide ready to defend their own SEC Title.  Who will be the QB?

4. Baylor - While we have no legitimate argument for the top 3 here with Baylor is where we see the flaw.  No more Bryce Petty is a big concern.  He's been their offense the past 3 seasons.  Baylor is a finesse team much like Oregon.  I don't necessarily double down on finesse teams when it comes to big boy football.

5. Oregon - Overrated.  They gotta replace Heisman Trophy winner Marcus Mariota, their left tackle, and defensive standouts on all three levels.  They should be ranked around 10 but the pollsters will only see the fact they were in the national championship game last year.

6. Michigan St - Believe it or not Sparty might be a tad underrated even at 6.  Connor Cook is back at QB and should put up Heisman Trophy numbers as a senior.  They get Oregon at home and should be the only team who can beat Ohio State this year in the Big Ten.

7. USC - Although I'm a self admitted USC hater I would have no problem with USC this high if Pete Carroll was still coaching them.  The problem is Steve Sarkisian is on the sidelines and he's good for at least 3 losses.  The Trojans have a ton of returning talent but still gotta replace their best offensive and defensive player from last season.

8. Florida State - Getting Everett Golson to transfer in is a huge addition for the Seminoles.  When Golson is on he's a top 10 QB in the nation.  The problem is he turns the ball over a ton.  I think having FSU this high this early is a bit premature since they are replacing the majority of their starters and they are really young at a lot of positions.  But I wouldn't be shocked to see FSU in the playoffs this year despite the roster turnover because they have a ton of elite talent waiting to take over.

9. Auburn - This is clearly the Will Muschamp effect because Auburn looked terrible in the 2nd half of last season.  Malzahn will have the offense rolling but can Muschamp turn around a defense in one season?  It's possible but I think the Tigers should be more in the 15-25 range.

10. Georgia - Year in and year out Mark Richt and his team have proven to be consistently overrated going into the season.  This year might not be any different if they can't find a QB.  With Golson picking FSU the Dawgs need to put in all of their chips for Braxton Miller.  It's a huge gamble considering Miller's shoulder is still not even close to 100% but do you really want to see Brice Ramsey fucking up what could potentially be a great UGA season?

Friday, May 08, 2015

Female Anchor Wishing Everyone a Happy "Dry Hump Day"

You gotta love the guy on the left.  His reaction once her words "Dry Hump Day" went from his brain and finally traveled down to his other head was "OH!"  Yes indeed.

Thursday, May 07, 2015

Everett Golson Transferring from Notre Dame

Just when you think Notre Dame Football could finally avoid a major distraction in the offseason they throw you a curveball.  Although not a complete shock news broke today that starting QB Everett Golson will indeed transfer out of the program and finish his collegiate playing career somewhere else.

Golson released a statement on his transfer to Bruce Feldman of Fox Sports....

Everett Golson informed Brian Kelly Thursday morning that he is transferring out of Notre Dame. Golson explained his decision to FOX Sports Thursday in a statement. 

"After much thought, prayer and discussion with my family, I have decided that it is in my best interest to graduate from Notre Dame and transfer to another school effective immediately," Golson said.

"I would like to thank everyone at Notre Dame for the opportunity to compete at the highest level of college football, but most importantly to obtain my degree from one of the finest universities in the country. To all the Fighting Irish fans I want to thank you for your support over the past four years and let you know I truly love Notre Dame! To my former teammates, who I will miss tremendously, I wish much success in the future and will be your biggest fan from afar.

"I will have no further comment at this time and ask that you respect my time as I figure out this life changing moment. God has a plan for each of us and I ask for your prayers as I move forward in this new journey in my life!"

Well it's obvious I hate to see Golson leave I must admit I'm very excited to see Malik Zaire at QB.  Zaire is basically a left handed version of Golson but he's quicker and doesn't quite have the touch on intermediate passes like Golson does.  Zaire looked outstanding in his one spot start vs LSU in the Music City Bowl.  With 18 of 21 starters back Notre Dame should be a top 10 team.

Rumors of where Golson could end up at include but are not limited to LSU, Texas, South Carolina and Florida.

Tuesday, May 05, 2015

Floyd Mayweather Punch-Out

I'm still not sure why anybody is pissed the Floyd Mayweather-PacMan fight on Saturday night was boring?  Have you not seen the first 47 "fights" MoneyMan participated in?  Mayweather may be undefeated and the ultimate bad guy but he is the most boring boxer I can ever remember watching.  I'm not saying he's a shitty boxer.  In fact he's a great tactical boxer.  He doesn't get hit and he lands a very high percentage of jabs.  The problem is he doesn't want to knock out guys because he doesn't have to.  He just wants to rack up the points and collect his $150 million.  If you paid $100 to watch the shitshow I don't feel bad for you.  You knew going in this was an overhyped, overpriced fight featuring two guys way past their prime.  In the end all you did was solidify Mayweather and his bankroll.

Thursday, April 30, 2015

2015 Final NFL Mock Draft

  1. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Jameis Winston, QB, Florida State  
    Forget about the rape and stealing crabs and shouting obscene vulgarities towards women because obviously the Bucs have and are willing to wager their franchise on Jameis.  Winston is the best QB in this draft.  I believe that.  He's either going to be the next Ben Roethlisberger or Jamarcus Russell.
  2. Tennessee Titans – Marcus Mariota, QB, Oregon
    The Flyin' Hawaiian is a saint on and off the field but does he have the leadership skills to be an effective NFL QB?  I look at Mariota and see a system QB.  Seriously when was the last time an Oregon player made an impact at the next level?  Keep thinking.
  3. Jacksonville Jaguars – Amari Cooper, WR, AlabamaThe Jaguars want to surround QB Blake Bortles with the most weapons in the NFL.  It's why they are going to do the dumb thing and pass on a bigger need on defense and take the best WR in the class.   Cooper may become a stud but WR don't win you many football games.
  4. Oakland Raiders – Leonard Williams, DT, USCI was tempted to have the Raiders select another WR in Kevin White here because as you know they are the Raiders and they almost always pick the fast, shiny new object.  But instead I got them going with one of the safer picks in the draft in Williams.  He's a Raiders fan and he's from USC.  A match made in hell.  The Raiders hit a HR last year with Khalil Mack by the way.
  5. Washington – Dante Fowler Jr., OLB, FloridaIf Fowler falls this far the Redskins got the steal of the draft even if it's a top 5 pick.  Fowler is the best player in this draft in my opinion.  I think he makes an immediate impact like Khalil Mack made last year for the Raiders.
  6. New York Jets – Randy Gregory, OLB, NebraskaI want to see the Jets draft Gregory just because he is the biggest enigma in the draft.  The Jets love to cause controversy and a lot of scouts think Gregory might be the best talent in this draft but he's got the most unsavory reputation off the field.  What better place for him to mature then under the bright lights of the Big Apple?
  7. Chicago Bears – Shane Ray, OLB, MissouriThe Bears need pass rushers.  Shit they need a lot of things.  Ray despite the marijuana arrest can get to the QB.  I see a lot of mocks having him drop out of the 1st because of marijuana.  It's crazy talk.  If Jameis can rape and steal and still go #1 overall there is no reason to think Ray's stock has fallen because of a little weed.
  8. Atlanta Falcons – Todd Gurley, RB, GeorgiaFalcons fans are going to either laugh or cry at this pick because the Falcons have much bigger needs than RB but you still have to remember that Thomas Dimitroff has a seat in the draft room.  Gurley without the knee injury would have been a top 5 pick even though RBs are considered interchangeable in today's NFL.  He's the best talent to come out at that position since Adrian Peterson was beating the shit out of his kid.  And as a Falcons fan I want to see this pick be made because it would be so polarizing to the whole fan base.  One side would love it because he went to UGA while another would lose their shit because the Falcons need help on the defensive side of the ball especially in the front 7.
  9. New York Giants – Brandon Scherff, OT, IowaNot much to say here other than the Giants need someone to protect Eli.  Scherff seems to be graded the best in a weak class of tackles.
  10. St. Louis Rams – Kevin White, WR, West VirginiaThe Rams love wide outs from Morgantown and I must admit I like Kevin White a lot.  And other than that the Rams suck donkey dick so this pick will help seal a top 5 pick for next year before they move to Los Angeles.
  11. Minnesota Vikings –  DeVante Parker, WR, Louisville Teddy Bridgewater gets back his favorite target from college.  I like Bridgewater's game and I think Parker will be an excellent player in the NFL.
  12. Cleveland Browns – Vic Beasley, OLB, ClemsonThe Browns are trying to trade up to get the next great NFL QB failure in Mariota but if they don't I got them taking the work out wonder from Clemson.
  13. New Orleans Saints – Trae Waynes, CB, Michigan StateThe Saints need help at corner and Waynes seems to be the safest bet here.  Gotta hand it to Sparty they know how to produce corners.
  14. Miami Dolphins – Marcus Peters, CB, Washington The Dolphins would love to get another WR target for Ryan Tannehill and could go with one of the many second tier college ones but instead decide to go defense.  With the Suh signing you might as well make sure you got someone who can cover since the front 4 should be stout.
  15. San Francisco 49ers – Arik Armstead, DE, OregonThe 49ers would love to team up Armstead on the opposite side of Aldon Smith.  They get their wish granted.
  16. Houston Texans – Bud Dupree, OLB, Kentucky When in doubt go defense with speed.  Dupree could be a steal here for the Texans who continue to load up on that side of the ball.
  17. San Diego Chargers – Andrus Peat, OT, StanfordThe Chargers might be taking a QB here if they trade away Philip Rivers as rumored.  If they don't I got them taking someone who can protect Rivers on either one of his sides.
  18. Kansas City Chiefs – La’el Collins, OG, LSUYes this guy might have had something to do with murdering his pregnant ex-girlfriend but boy oh boy can he block.  He's worth the PR nightmare.
  19. Cleveland Browns (from Buffalo) –  Dorial Green-Beckham, WR, Missouri 
    The Browns have to make this pick.  DGB needs to be partying with Johnny Football and Josh Gordon.  This must happen.  It's so Cleveland it hurts.
  20. Philadelphia Eagles – Danny Shelton, DT, WashingtonI was awfully tempted to have Chip Kelly take Melvin Gordon here.  But the Eagles have gone so far off the radar this offseason I think they actually might make a prudent decision for once and take the big DT from Washington.  "Why would they do that?" you ask...I have no fucking clue but I gotta respect the mad genius that is Chip Kelly.
  21. Cincinnati Bengals – Cameron Erving, C, Florida StateWith no pass rushers on their board left they go with the next safe bet: protect Andy Dalton's ginger soulless ass.  Erving will work.
  22. Pittsburgh Steelers – Kevin Johnson, CB, Wake ForestThe Steelers need secondary help.  And I guess this guy from Wake Forest can help.  Honestly I have no clue who this guy is but I saw he is highly rated so there you go.
  23. Detroit Lions – Malcolm Brown, DT, TexasThe Lions lost Suh and Fairley and need interior help to team up with new addition Haloti Ngata.  Brown is the best DT left on the board at this point although I could see them taking undersized Eddie Goldman here.
  24. Arizona Cardinals – Melvin Gordon, RB, WisconsinI know you don't take RBs in the first round but the Cardinals don't have shit at that position.  Gordon is probably a product of his college system but the fucker ran for like a million yards last year for Wisconsin and so far has graded out well through all the workouts.  In other words he is worth the risk here.
  25. Carolina Panthers – Ereck Flowers, OT, MiamiIt's either going to be Flowers or D.J Humphries here to help protect Cam Newton.  I did the educational thing and flipped a coin.  It landed on Flowers.  Congrats Carolina.
  26. Baltimore Ravens – Ronald Darby, CB, FSUThe Ravens hit on their picks like 90% of the time so watch out for Darby.  He will probably turn into the next Darrelle Revis.
  27. Dallas Cowboys – Eddie Goldman, DT, FSUWhat is wrong with me?  Another Criminole gets picked.  The Cowgirls get a guy who can plug the middle while also chasing down RBs.
  28. Denver Broncos – D.J. Humphries, OT, FloridaHumphries can step in right away and start at right tackle and help protect Peyton Manning for at least one more season.
  29. Indianapolis Colts – Landon Collins, S, AlabamaThe Colts need help at safety and despite all the mocks saying Collins won't be a 1st round pick anymore I think they take a chance on yet another Nick Saban defensive back product.
  30. Green Bay Packers – Shaq Thompson, OLB, WashingtonI absolutely love this pick.  Thompson could be the best defensive player not named Dante Fowler in this draft.  He's still raw but the guy is a play maker.  Reminds me a lot of Anthony Barr when he came out last year out of UCLA.
  31. New Orleans Saints (from Seattle) – Eric Kendricks, ILB, UCLAThe Saints are a train wreck right now so they need a leader for the middle of their defense.  Kendricks can help provide that if the Saints decide to go defense instead of another target for Drew Brees.
  32. New England Patriots – Eli Harold, OLB, VirginiaThe Patriots will probably trade down out of this pick but if they don't they take the best defensive player left on the board.  

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Ray Lewis Gives An Emotional Speech About The Baltimore Riots

Ray Lewis is the greatest middle linebacker of all-time and his football speeches are epic.   The former Baltimore Raven delivered a great one this morning to all the idiots out there in Baltimore who are deciding to riot and tear up their great city.  Stop being assholes!  If Ray Lewis can get away with murder (yes "allegedly" but we all know he did it wink wink) than what are you people rioting for?  I was just in Baltimore a month ago.  It was another awesome experience in the Charm City granted it was snowing.  I lived and worked in Baltimore.  I love the Orioles, the crabs, the people, the history and the Inner Harbor.  I even named my son Camden because of the ballpark.  But all of these asshole rioters aren't doing it for Freddie Gray and "justice."  They are breaking shit, stealing shit, and hurting people and local businesses because they are ASSHOLES.  Yes I'm sure some of the cops are probably assholes too but the rioters are just a bunch of herd mentality retards.  And if you are going to be an asshole or a retard at least be a funny one.  They are not.  Instead they have caused two postponements of Orioles games including tonight's affair with the Chicago White Sox which was suppose to be nationally televised on MLB TV.  Now I can't watch one of my favorite players in Jeff Samardzija hurl against my Orioles because a bunch of assholes are mad at the cops.  And the even shittier part is there were some peaceful protests in Baltimore but now it's all being overshadowed because of these assholes who want to break shit and cause anarchy.  Go home.  Drink some Colt 45.  Calm the fuck down so I can get on my life by watching the Orioles win another AL East crown.

Oh yeah and don't piss off Ray Lewis anymore.  You don't want to see Ray mad.